After Betrayal

written by Rachelle

Broken. Crushed. Trampled. Bereft. Comfortless. Trapped.

Does sin ever live up to its glittering promise of happiness, satisfaction, success, glory?

No. Instead, when I know I have denied His name, failed His faith in me, betrayed His love, I am left an empty husk, hopeless.

And yet, does trading the Light for the Darkness ever seem that simple? Does exchanging the Way for the Wasted ever look as if that is what we're doing?

No. Instead, the wistful whisper of the evil one deceives ...and I give in. I say that unkind word, think that uncharitable thought, neglect to act in compassion.

Or even worse, I neglect to act at all.

And I'm mired in the thickest quicksand that ever was, unable to slough off the sin or dispose of the disgrace. I'm forced to carry it around wherever I go, guilt burning until I collapse.

With no strength to lift my head, sobbing tears of sorrow, I'm suddenly frozen. Unable to do anything but return the stare.

He's looking at me.

"Peter replied, "Man, I don't know what you're talking about!" Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter..."

Luke 22:60-61a

What was in that look, do you think?

Censure? Condemnation? Betrayal? Grief? Disappointment?

How about...

Love?

As crazy as it sounds, as unwilling to believe it at first when I see it, it's Love. Always Love. Forever Love.

Even now, as I write this, I take a deep breath, awed at the depth of His desire for me -- that He would journey to an old rugged cross and lay His life down...

All so that when I slip up, make a mistake, and turn away from Him, He can look at me with Love, open up His arms, and say, "I forgive you. You may not forgive yourself yet, but I'll help you. And I love you. I always will, you know." (Just like He did with Peter. See the last chapter of John.)

That is crazy.

That is ludicrous.

That is Love.

So when you've fallen, when you've been unfaithful, when you've sinned and you're tempted to think that broken, crushed, trampled, bereft, comfortless, trapped is all you're ever going to be...don't believe it. Just open your eyes. He's right there with you. Looking at you. With love-light in His eyes.

Saying "I love you. You belong with me."

Even after betrayal, you still belong.